Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Don't Phunk With My Heart!

Today a package arrived from Ohio... a very special package that contained all of this stuff:

You may be asking yourself, "What the heck is THAT?"

It's a holter monitor, along with everything that is needed in order to actually test a dog. Part of complete health testing on a Doberman is regular monitoring of the heart, usually by 24 hour EKG. Since I'm a member of the DPCA, I was able to rent a holter from The Maumee Valley Doberman Pinscher Club. Someday I'll own my own holter, but for now it's more cost-effective to rent.

I'll be honest... I've NEVER done this before. I hope to god I didn't mess it up. I had help from my friend Erin - who also has never done this before, but at least she's watched someone else do it! The instructions that came with it were vague at best, curl-up-in-the-fetal-position-and-cry at worst. And to make things even more wonderful, the time counter on the monitor didn't work so I had to record the start-time with the clock on my computer. Sorry Alba, I woulda if I coulda... iMac time will have to suffice.

The whole kit-n-kaboodle stays on for 24 hours. Then the cassette tape gets sent to Alba Medical and I'll have yet another piece of health testing to get impatient over. On the plus side, this is the last bit of health testing I have to do for awhile!

Applying the sticky things.... "Please save me from the horror!"

The instructions just said to "attach the animal" - does this look "attached?"

(At this point, I was making lame Terminator jokes... the Thing that won't die, in a Nightmare that won't end.... an Unstoppable Cyborg, intent on killing Sarah Conn.... ah screw it.)

To protect the wires (and the entire vest) I pulled Ilsa's jammies out from storage and carefully put them on over top of the vest - thank goodness she was a full figured gal!

By now, Erin was making dinosaur jokes. Kaylee didn't think any of our jokes were the least bit funny. I began to wonder if I should have taken tomorrow off from work, because I can't help but worry that she'll somehow have the entire thing in bits by the time I get home from work. Maybe I'll call my boss and ask if I can have the day off.

"PLEEZ SAVE ME!" - Kaylee

Edited to add: She has given up on life. Poor, poor Kaylee.

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