Monday, January 24, 2011

The fine line between Determined and Pathetic

I had to pick up Allicyn from her foster-foster mom today. A simple drive up to Ames turned into a frantic search for my Holy Grail, my Holiest of Holies.... the Cadbury Mini Egg.

But before I get into my story, I should give a class course in MiniEggology.

Cadbury mini eggs are small, bite sized chocolate eggs covered in a thick, crisp, matte-finish candy coating. If M&Ms had a Chuck Norris figure in their world, the Cadbury Mini Egg would be IT. There's no filling, no nasty paste inside - just pure, unadulterated chocolate and sugar. My favorite way to eat them is to microwave them just long enough for the chocolate to melt inside... 46 seconds.

Mini Eggs have been my favorite candy since I first encountered them in middle school. They are only sold in the springtime. I usually start looking for them once Iowa begins to thaw out in March, so you can imagine my surprise two weeks ago when I discovered an entire case of Mini Eggs in the local HyVee. I must have momentarily lost consciousness, because I don't remember anything between the first glimpse of those glorious royal-purple bags to the moment when I found myself sitting in my car, grinning like a crazy person with about 8 pint-sized baggies of Mini eggs in my clenched fists.

It was a week of bliss. Melty, chocolatey, mini-eggy bliss.

I let my husband have the last baggie, thinking that it would be easy to get more. This, my friends, was a grave mistake. When I went back to the store to get more, they were gone.

Fast forward to this evening.

As I said, I was driving to Ames to pick up Allicyn. I was a bit early, so I stopped at the local feed store to kill time. When I walked in, I saw a case of Mini Eggs! I decided to grab a few bags when I was ready to leave, but then some snot-nosed kid grabbed the last bag! Curses!

So I decided to drive to a real grocery store and try my luck. I had time to kill, after all. They had an entire endcap labeled "Cadbury Mini Eggs" but they were sold out. Drat.

On to the next grocery store. They too had a large section of the candy aisle dedicated to Mini Eggs, and from the end of the aisle I could see dark purple bags.... yes.... I was in luck! Oblivious to the stares of my fellow shoppers, I sprinted down the aisle with a huge grin on my face. But wait... what was THIS? Dark Chocolate Mini Eggs? BLASPHEMY!

At this point I checked the time... I needed to pick up Allicyn in 15 minutes. Did I have time to drive across town to see if the third (and last) HyVee in Ames had my precious Mini Eggs? Yes.... yes! I totally had time, if I drove really fast and cut through campus! As I sped wildly through the streets of my alma mater, I started to think about what I was really doing. Feelings of disgust, shame and embarrassment and a tiny bit of amusement melded together and I thought, "My god... this is pathetic! Leah, you've just spend the last hour driving around looking for little pieces of chocolate! Have you no sense of self-worth?"

I debated calling off the search, but I was about a mile away from The Last HyVee so I continued on. As I trudged through the slushy parking lot to check for Mini Eggs, I realized that what I was doing was possibly the lamest thing I've done all winter. I felt as if I had a neon sign over my head that said, "Girl With No Life, Looking For Chocolate" with a big arrow pointed at my head.

The Last Hyvee's seasonal candy section was being stocked by two teenage clerks. It would have been too embarrassing to shove them out of the way to look for my chocolate, so I tried to look busy by examining the store's meager offering of school supplies in the adjacent aisle. Once the clerks were finished, I stole a glance at the shelf.

...No Mini Eggs. :(

When I got home, I told my husband what had transpired. I made him promise that he would take responsibility in this matter, and provide his poor pathetic wife with Mini Eggs at the soonest opportunity. I didn't tell him that I do not intend to share my Mini Eggs with him... the less he knows about my Mini Egg addiction, the better.


  1. yes, I am actually lol'ing at this:)

  2. As a fellow Mini Egg addict... I feel your pain. LOL! Good to know I'm not alone!
    Great post! :oD

  3. Ha! I do the EXACT same thing with the creme eggs! Don't feel bad.


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