Friday, April 22, 2011

Everyone Poops.

I think the basement dwellers found my copy of Everyone Poops today while I was at work. Because, my dear readers, they really took it to heart.

I came home from a 9.5 hour workday to the lovely aroma of poop. It was so strong, I thought Ronin had pooped in his expen. Nope. 'Oh god,' I thought, 'the smell must be wafting up from the basement!'

And wafting up from the basement it was. Riley had squishy-pooed all over her crate. Cursing the pouring rain, I let her out of her smelly prison and escorted her outside. To keep her out of trouble, I kicked Jayne out there too. I scrubbed the crate clean and tossed the soiled blankets in the wash, then brought Riley inside and gave her a bath. 'What the hell,' I thought, 'I'll bathe Ronin and Jayne too!'

So I did. I moved the now-clean Riley blankets over to the dryer and started a load of dog-wash towels. 'Might as well wash Jayne's blankets too,' I thought, 'since a clean boy should have clean bedding!'

It was then that I realized why the poo smell hadn't dissipated. It was then that I realized that yes, Jayne too had left me a lovely present in the back of his crate. A stinky, smelly, squishy present that I really, really was not ready to accept at that point in time. 'I'm going to murder that gigantic red dog,' I thought, 'this time he's really done it.... killin' time!'

But I didn't. I managed to quell my desire for Doberblood somehow. Unfortunately while cleaning his crate, I somehow managed to get poo in my hair. And my eye. Yes, my eye. It was probably the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to me. And by that time, there was no more hot water (due to all the laundry I'd been doing) so I had to take a cold shower.

So it's 2am, and I'm still working on the laundry from the poo explosion.

Please, please, please let tomorrow be a day without poo.


  1. Yikes! I feel for you. That's never a pleasant thing to come home to, especially after you've already had a long day. I'm glad you didn't murder Gigantic Red Dog.

  2. i award you 5 points and 1 shiny gold star for making "i somehow managed to get poo in my hair" a colloquial term in this post.

    well done, my friend. well done.

  3. Oh my! What a nasty thing to come home to!

    Fingers and paws are crossed that today was better for you!

  4. EW. In your eye!?! WTF. That sucks, Sizz.

    Did they all get into something, or was it just bad luck?


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.