I found some smelt at Walmart today. I have been meaning to add a bit of seafood to the dogs' diets, and the sight of adorable little dead fish in a bag made me way happier than it should have. What can I say, I'm easily amused.
Here's what was on the menu for tonight. Beef mix, egg, chicken wing, chicken liver, and one adorable little smelt for each dog. Talla eats in her crate because she can get grouchy with the other dogs at mealtime. Jayne and Kaylee eat in the kitchen.
Of course, the beef mix disappeared first. The dogs love their beef mix above all other edibles, so they horked it down and moved on to the chicken wing and the egg. The chicken liver and the smelt confused them. As I supervised, I noticed that Jayne and Kaylee seemed to be having a silent conversation about the last two food items in their bowls.
Kaylee: What is this, fish? I don't know... uh.... OKAY THIS IS GOOD! OM NOM!
Jayne: Why are you eating that? That's gross!
Kaylee: You have one too, dummy.
Jayne: I do? Oh... I DO! Maybe.... hm. How do I eat it?
Kaylee: I can show you....
Jayne: NO! I am not falling for that again! I remember last time, how you "showed" me how to eat a chicken foot, and then you ate my chicken foot and I had no more chicken foot!
Kaylee: Okay, let's see you eat it then, since you obviously don't need my help...
Jayne: .... Fine. *eats part of the smelt*
Kaylee: So, I'll trade you the rest of your smelt for this awesome blob of pinkish goo!
Jayne: What is that, a liver? You didn't like your chicken liver?
Kaylee: Why would I? Liver is disgusting.
Jayne: I would very much like your liver... but... I'm not sure I want to give up on my smelt just yet....
Kaylee: You snooze you lose! *eats the rest of Jayne's smelt*
Jayne: HEY! I did not agree to this trade!
Kaylee: Too bad. Your smelt was delicious. Ha ha ha, you're a moron!
Jayne: *is sad*
Kaylee: .... you can still have my liver, if you want.
Jayne: I don't want your liver.
Kaylee: You ate your liver just fine, why don't you want mine?
Jayne: Because it has girl cooties on it, and you already licked the blood off.
Kaylee: Well aren't you picky all of a sudden...
Kaylee: Whatever. I'll just eat my liver.
Jayne: NO! I.... I want it.
Kaylee: Haha, reverse psychology rocks!
Jayne: *finishes liver* Reefers psych eulogy? What's that?
Kaylee: Just forget I said anything.
Jayne: Oh.... *looks confused*
And there you have it. An imaginary conversation I invented for my dogs. Dinner Hour at Casa Petesch is never dull.