Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Ratsicle.

I'm so unbelievably sad right now. Usually my husband is great at understanding my jokes involving obscure and vague movie/book references, but this time he didn't and I'm crushed.

But this time, I wasn't even being vague. I made a very direct Avengers reference, and he didn't understand it at all. We were both in the kitchen, and I was putting a bagged, dead rat in some warm water to thaw it for our ball python to eat. I turned to Steve, held up the jar of water with the rat in it, and said:

"So, do you think if after this rat thaws, I can get it a patriotic, spangly outfit and maybe it'll be able to defeat an army of extraterrestrials?"

Steve looked at me like I was crazy. So I took the joke further.

"Of course, I could build a metal suit for another rat, and make that rat do the majority of the work and save the world..."

Still nothing from Steve. He wasn't even smiling. He looked a bit frightened. So I continued:

"Give another rat a bow and some arrows? Maybe find a really big rat with anger management issues?"

Nothing.

"Uh.... I could find a black rat with one eye to give directions to all the other rats...?"

At this point, Steve looked really confused and really afraid. I finally gave up.

"I WAS MAKING A JOKE ABOUT ME THAWING A RAT AND DRESSING IT UP AS CAPTAIN AMERICA. WHAT PART OF THAT JOKE DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?"

Steve admitted that he totally did not get the joke until I explained it. He said that if I'd mentioned the rat having a little shield, he would have understood. I told him that would have been too obvious. He shook his head and walked away. I stood there, clutching the thawing jar, furious that he hadn't understood my witty Avengers dead rat joke. I yelled at his retreating form:

"..... RATSICLE - CAPSICLE! SAMUEL L. RATSON!"




"Funny things are!"

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