Sunday, September 30, 2012

Accident Prone

This is the story of the funniest conversation I've had all month.  It's 2am, and instead of sleeping I'm talking to my buddy Jess about which one of us is more accident-prone.  Behold, the conversation.... sorry relatives, there's swearing.  *sheepish shrug*

Jess:  I am not a leggings person, but Scott found a site that sells them with galaxy space prints. 
Me:  oooh! 
Jess:  I want those. 
Me:  omg, my eyes are blurry from lack of sleep. When you typed "I want those," I read it as "leprechauns" 
Jess:  ... the fuck? 
Me:  I'm not drugged, I swear.  I'm just tired.  I'm sitting here with a Thermacare heat wrap on my back because I totally broke it somehow, while throwing out a bag of dirty kitty litter. 
Jess:  haha ow! 
Me:  I make being accident-prone look awesome. 
Jess:  Dude. I had to get stitches a couple years ago due to a light bulb changing experience gone awry.  Stitches. 
Me: Hey, at least you didn't walk INTO a TV antenna and break a blood vessel in your eye... because I totally did that.  I remember it.  Vividly. 
Jess: I did manage to crack my head open and break my collarbone. 
Me:  Or... ooh! You never cracked your jaw/broke teeth because you miscalculated your trajectory whilst jumping onto a sofa! 
Jess:  No, but I did get bitten by a dumb dog and get hives in the same week. 
Me: Tripped over a backpack at church and spent the next four weeks on crutches. 
Jess: I gave myself a concussion tripping over a laundry basket.  Black eye getting into a car. 
Me:  I gave myself a concussion by slipping on water in the school bathroom.  Knocked myself out by hitting myself in the head with a car door. 
Jess:  Forgot how to walk a few weeks back and sprained my ankle.  OMG we are head injury twinsies! 
Me: Let's not forget the time when I somehow got suspended from a fallen tree at Palisades-Kepler State Park.  I couldn't get down.  I was stuck, dangling 15ft above the ground.  Damn you, sweatshirt tied around waist! 
Jess:  Hahahaha damn 90's fashion.  Not an injury, but Mere and I got stuck in a canoe in a whirlpool for a couple hours in eighth grade.  Just spinning.  A lot. 
Me:  I remember hearing about that.  Better than what happened to ME in a fucking canoe... I got attacked by GEESE! 
Jess:  I had a rusty nail go through the bottom of my foot.  I flipped a 90lb canoe last summer.  Bashed my head on the inside of it.  Mere almost shattered my wrist freshman year... still have a scar.  Luke kicked me in the head 12 feet in the air, concussion. 
Me:  Dude I tripped over my cat Cleo in high school, and somehow ended up landing on a metal wastebasket and needed stitches.  In my foot. 
Jess: Hahahaha we are amazing.  AMAZING. 
Me:  Yeah, my doctor asked me how it happened.  I told him, and he got this funny look on his face and told me it must have been a really big cat. 
Jess:  I like how we have a lot of matching injuries... 
Me:  OH - ALSO - I broke a fucking tooth on a fucking PIECE OF BREAD... in fucking POLAND. 
Jess:  ......... That wins. 
Me:  hahaha 
Jess:  I was detained in Mexico but I was not injured. 
Me:  Wait, what?

The rest of the conversation involved  college drunkenness, gruesome dental injuries, prescription painkillers and our experiences in having our wisdom teeth removed.  Sigh, I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for.  :)

Saturday, September 29, 2012

October: The Month of Crazy

Before I get into why October has been dubbed The Month of Crazy, I want to share the good news that Rocket finished his U-CH last weekend.  Also, Kaylee picked up four Altered BIS wins as well.  After the show on Sunday, we took them to Ledges and got some fantastic photos:

Okay.  Now I can explain.

I'm not exactly sure how I got myself into this predicament. The current theory is that I have some sort of brain parasite that has been telling me to enter shows and trials like someone with twice my free time and three times my income.

October 5-7: Lure coursing and Conformation in Lincoln, Nebraska
October 13-14: Conformation in Mason City, Iowa
October 20-21: Lure coursing in Ramsey, Minnesota
October 26-28: Conformation in Sioux Falls, South Dakota

... I think you can see why I'm calling October 'The Month of Crazy.' Four weekends, four dog shows. By the end of the month, Kaylee will have her CA title and need six more qualifying runs for her CAA. Rocket will have his CA title and need only four more runs for his CAA, as well as hopefully be closer to his AKC championship. Aside from the titles and points. we'll also get to spend time with friends and Aryn's family, experience feeding raw while on the road, and attend the Wirehaired Pointing Griffon National Specialty.

This is going to be ridiculously awesome... or awesomely ridiculous. Perhaps both.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Rocket & Kaylee visit Ledges

This will basically be a photodump, albeit a good one. Last weekend we took Rocket and Kaylee to Ledges State Park in Boone, Iowa. Due to the drought, we were able to walk out to the center of the Des Moines River for photos. Out of the dozens of keepers, here are the very best of the batch.

Rocket (front) and Kaylee


Kaylee - my new favorite photo of her.





Hodgepodge 10.0

My husband went to Goldie's last weekend. Remember me saying how they are completely incapable of making ice cream treats correctly? We have yet another example of their ineptitude. Steve ordered a Peanut Butter Suicide. It's been awhile since I've ordered one, but it's pretty fancy - butterfingers, peanut butter, chocolate... and more. Steve came home with... a cup of vanilla ice cream with peanut butter on top. That's not a Peanut Butter Suicide! That's more like a Peanut Butter Paper Cut! Way to fail, Goldie's. I can't believe Steve paid $4.50 for plain ice cream with peanut butter.

I did a crazy thing. I took over the obedience club's monthly newsletter. It's harder than it sounds. Please cross your fingers I don't screw it up!

I forgot to mention this... but Kaylee finished her BN. Now we get to work on her CD!

This was kind of a lame Hodgepodge. I promise my next post will have tons of gorgeous photos from last weekend!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Robitussin Dream

I've been really, really, really sick for the past four days. Sick enough that I missed two days of work. Sick enough that I had friends telling me I had the West Nile virus, and contacting doctors on my behalf. I'm feeling a lot better now, but for awhile there I was pretty sure I had SARS or the Black Death or the Swine Flu or something. Now I'm just a snot faucet.

Anyway... apparently Robitussin (when combined with a handful of other medications) makes me have really bizarre dreams. The following is an account of just one of these dreams.

I dreamed that I was doing some sort of Rally course with Kaylee. My friend Jenny was the judge, and apparently I lost three points right off the bat because I didn't enter the ring from the correct angle. Jenny asked if I wanted her to take those points off right away, and I told her no. The second station was, for some reason, a hopscotch board. I didn't remember how to play hopscotch - and in the dream it had something to do with a large oversized dice but I couldn't find the dice because somehow it would involve forcing Kaylee out of heel position, so we NQed. Instead of finishing the course, we were asked to leave because I 'needed too much help with the hopscotch station.' I was really mad, especially when Jenny said something like, "your run started out really good!" - so I threw my iPod (and my cell phone) at her because clearly the run had NOT started well and she was just saying that to be nice.

The trial was in a mall, so after leaving the ring I walked over to Cinnabon and sulked for awhile. Some of my friends walked by but made a point of not saying Hi, because I had apparently embarrassed them by throwing an iPod at Jenny. I specifically remember Aryn talking on the phone to someone, but making a point of not looking in my direction. But she knew I was there. I remember thinking, 'you are SO not my friend anymore, Aryn!'

After awhile, I got sick of being ignored at Cinnabon and went home... but I had to ski home, because the mall was in the Alps.

Thank you Robitussin, for making me get mad at my friends in my dream. Real nice.

Fun times. Robitussin is evil.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Special Edition MEGA Hodgepodge

I should really think about updating more often. Here is a compilation of everything I've been thinking about lately.

On Revy

Sadly, we've switched Revy back to kibble for awhile. She was doing fine on raw, but then suddenly spiraled back to weighing 16lbs and having issues with digestion. We're assuming it's SIBO (Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth) so I started her on a round of Tylan (an antibiotic) and put her back on kibble (Wellness CORE Original) and powdered porcine enzymes. She's already looking better, and while I'd like to keep her on raw I don't think it's going to work for her. Of course, now I have 15lbs of raw pancreas in my freezer for no reason.

On Kaylee

Kaylee is doing so well after her spay and tooth extraction. She has one stitch in her mouth that hasn't dissolved yet, and we're impatiently waiting for it to disappear so she can get bone-in raw again. She's so happy and energetic now - it's like she's a puppy again. I love this side of her, because it's yet another indicator to me that she's enjoying life and not ready to even begin to slow down.

The State Fair Dog Show was... embarrassing. We discovered that she can't resist the poop of ruminant animals, so she spent more time trying to eat cow-pies than actually do her job. Didn't see that coming!

This weekend we hope to finish her title. She has two chances to get her last leg, so hopefully she can hold herself together long enough to qualify. On the plus side, there will be no cow poop in the ring this time.

In a few weeks, Kaylee will be making her debut in UKC Altered Conformation. We're mostly going to support Aryn and Rocket as they try to get that elusive third competition win to finish his U-CH, but it'll also be fun for Kaylee to play "show dog" once again. If there's food involved (and there always is in conformation,) she loves it.

Next month she will start (and finish) her CA title. We'll be driving down to Lincoln NE for the first two runs, then finishing the title and getting a run towards her CAA in Ramsey MN two weekends later. If her blood-curdling anticipatory screaming is any indicator, I'd say this is her favorite sport!

On Jayne and Talla

Jayne and Talla have kind of been put on the back burner recently. I feel bad, but I only have so much free time in any given day and Kaylee is the "priority" dog right now. They're happy and healthy, and enjoying being "couch dogs" while Kaylee gets to have fun and work on completing titles. Their time will come.

On crazy dietary changes

Aryn decided to "go paleo" and needed a buddy to keep her on track. I was more than happy to oblige, as it's basically gluten free taken to the extreme, and then some. The detox was terrible, but I got past it and I'm feeling great. I have made a few observations though....

1. There's a reason my grandparents call Whole Foods "Whole Paycheck"
2. It's really hard to find anything without added cane sugar or other processed junk
3. Paleo = no more alarm clocks... what a great side effect!
4. I feel like I'm part of a cult. Oddly enough, I don't mind.

One of the paleo catchphrases I've seen is "a relationship with food." It really rings true for me... I used to (and still do, sometimes) rely heavily on an unhealthy relationship with food to get me through stressful situations. I've mostly been able to kick the habit of eating bad-for-me food when I'm stressed or bored, especially since that sort of behavior is what got me into this whole mess. I don't know where I'm going with this... just... it's an interesting thing to think about, this "relationship with food."

On hilarious things my husband says

I'm supposed to preface this by saying that I don't share these stories to make my husband look dumb. I share these stories because they're funny, and I think they help paint a good picture of why Steve is so much fun. If there's one thing to be said about Steve, it's that he is very good at making me laugh.

A few days ago we were on our way to a movie. I don't remember what we were talking about, but apparently it was something that made him sad and a little bit nostalgic (in a lighthearted way.) In response to something I said, he whipped his head around and said, "Well excuuuuse me... the pain of loss is still fresh in my mind!" .... the pain of loss? I started laughing. Who says stuff like that, outside of soap operas and Broadway musicals? He looked a bit taken aback, and said, "I can't help it if I have the heart of a poet!"

Today we were talking about what we should do next week. Steve insisted that we take a walk around town - specifically, walk the route he runs a few times a week, so I can see where he runs. "I have to show you my favorite pothole!" he exclaimed. Huh. Apparently my husband has a favorite pothole. He explained that he likes to jump over it when he's really tired, because it's always up in the air if he'll make it over or not. He then went on about some solar-powered light he passes every night, and how it seems to be defective because it flickers instead of shining steady. I honestly don't pay that much attention to my surroundings on my runs... apparently I've been missing out on potholes and flickering lawn lights.

On purple and stripes

About four weeks ago, my one and only purple shirt somehow got ripped in the wash. I don't know why, but it really upset me. I had no more purple in my life, and that made me really sad. As I looked at my remaining wardrobe, I realized I also did not have anything stripey anymore. It shouldn't have made me as depressed as it did... I mean, it's just a color and a pattern. There are bigger things in life to worry about than not having any purple shirts. Really, truly.

I tried to let it go. I did not succeed. Two weeks later I was still yearning for purple. I was unable to find anything suitable at Target, and was forced to order some shirts online to make myself feel a bit better. Then, curse it, my friend Angela started talking about purple Vibram Fivefingers. I suddenly decided I needed purple Vibram Fivefingers. Upon seeing how distraught I was about the color purple and my lack thereof of the damn color, Steve vowed to buy me those crazyass purple VFF Speeds I'd decided to fixate on.

I am delighted to report that my purple shirts arrived today - including a purple striped shirt - and my purple VFF Speeds have shipped. Once they arrive, I feel my soul will be complete once again.

Yes, I'm aware I'm insane. Purple, who would have thought....

On stupid people at Grays Lake

Why, why, why are people so stupid? No one gives anyone space at Grays Lake. No one has well trained dogs at Grays Lake. No one at Grays Lake understands canine behavior or body language. This creates the trifecta of FAIL when it comes to our weekly walks.

Yesterday Rocket and Kaylee scared the crap out of some guy who was letting his pit bull stop and stare down other dogs. I don't know what the owner was expecting by letting his dog go to the end of the leash (on a narrow path) and stare down our dogs at twilight, but two angry Dobermans roaring at his dog was not it. Our dogs aren't mean... they were simply communicating to your dog that he'd best check himself before he wrecks himself. Kaylee and Rocket won't start a fight, but you can be darn sure that if provoked, they'll be doing the canine equivalent of thumping their chests and yelling, "Bring it!"

Also, if you're planning on walking your dog in one of the busiest public places in Iowa's largest city... leave the Flexi leashes at home. Letting your dog have a full twenty feet of line on a busy exercise path is disrespectful, dangerous and rude.

Also, I love paleo cinnamon cookies. Here's a picture of Revy with a toy stuck on her head.