Friday, August 2, 2013

Revisiting Child-Free

I'm finding myself needing to make another attempt at explaining the "child-free" mindset, because I don't think the media quite gets it.

Many pro-childfree articles call on several reasons why couples decide not to have kids.  The risk of genetic issues, the cost of raising a child, the need to retain their current lifestyle, the perceived 'overpopulation' of the world, the ability to travel, etc.

I can honestly say that none of those reasons are why I don't want kids.


That's borscht.  

It's not my photo.  I found it on the internet. The best way I can explain my lack of desire to have kids can be explained... by borscht.

Borscht is a Ukrainian dish made from beets, and sometimes tomatoes. In Poland, it's served with little mushroom-filled dumplings called uszka.  Millions of people love borscht.  Heck, it's so popular in Russia that the cosmonauts brought borscht-in-a-tube into space.

But to me, it tastes like vomit.  I never made the decision to not like borscht - it just so happens that my taste buds say it's the most foul substance on earth.  (And no, I am not calling children foul, by any means.)  

It's the same way with wanting kids - at least, it is for me.  I haven't made the decision to not want kids.  I just don't want them.  I never have.  To this day, I remember the exact moment when I realized I'd never choose to be a mom.  I was five years old, in the fresh produce section of Sun Mart, when I told my parents I was never going to have kids.  They laughed it off, probably because at that age I said all sorts of interesting things.  (Hey parents... does "I want the moon!" ring any bells?  Ha!)

Even though we don't really have the money to correctly raise a child, it's not about the money. Even though we are very happy with our time-consuming hobbies, it's not about the time.  It's simple... I do not have the desire to have kids, and neither does my husband.

Just like we don't have the desire to eat borscht.



2 comments:

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  2. I can understand the concept of not wanting kids. Not for me but for you. It is just who you are. And you have every right to be understood, just as those with lots of kids do.

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